Picking My Brain

Well, after much debate and tears and various other feelings, we’ve decided on June ‘09 for the wedding. Ben and I had agreed on next February, and I felt terrible in changing my mind. True, my mother kept pushing for June and started threatening to not contribute as much monetarily if I wasn’t “reasonable.” But really, she’s not the reason I changed my mind. There were a few things that I mulled over for a long time before I approached the topic with Ben.

First, was the weather. I’ve been tracking the weather this month to get an idea of what it would be like next year. Most days were cloudy with only some sun. It was usually pretty cold. There wasn’t even much snow to make up for the cold. It was pretty miserable, and I don’t want to feel miserable over bad weather or have my guests uncomfortable during bad weather. We had that one day that was really warm a week or so ago and I had opened up the windows in the house that afternoon to get some fresh air flowing through. I felt so much happier that day and I realized that having better weather would make the whole process and everyone much happier.

The other thing was, two Sundays ago I went to a bridal show with Liesle and my Mom. When we got home we were talking about things and my mom got out her wedding album to show Liesle some of the things she was talking about. My mom noticed these two candelabras in the background of her church pictures and mentioned that she thinks the church still has them and was wondering if the church would let us borrow them. Looking through her pictures made me realize that I was planning her wedding all over again. Same color scheme, same location, same ceremony… I decided that Ben and I wanted a wedding that we could say was “us.” It would be easier to incorporate things we like if the ceremony was representative of us from the beginning, instead of trying to make my mom’s wedding mine. I also though that planning the wedding with my mom to be identical to hers, would only make her more adamant that things had to be her way.

I felt really bad that I had already had many discussions with Ben and had agreed to the February date, and now I was changing my mind. Ben was honest and told me that he was mad that I wanted to change the date to a time that he had said he absolutely did not want, but that he would get over it and I could change the date. That’s one of the reasons why I love him, he’s always honest with me and tells me exactly what he’s thinking; and I can do the same with him.
So I haven’t informed my mother of the change yet, but I’m sure she’ll be happy. I’ve also altered the color scheme slightly. I was previously thinking a light green with light pink accents, but that would mean putting either Ben or the groomsmen in pink vests and ties. At the bridal show there was also a fashion show, and one of the guys had a vest and tie in about the shade of pink I was thinking. It looked terrible. I just couldn’t see Ben in pink, or Chris and my brother in pink. So we’ve changed.

Now I’m being all secretive with everyone as to what my plans are. I think some of the fun of the wedding will be revealing my planning and decorating at the actual event, so details are being left out of the blog from now on. Don’t worry, for anyone who reads my blog who doesn’t know me “in real life,” there will be pictures. My closest friends and family will be involved in the planning, but other than that it’s a secret!

Yeah, I’ll admit it.  I occasionally shop at K-Mart.  It’s literally three blocks from my apartment and they offer cheap prices on things like cat litter, cleaning supplies and bird food.  As most stores do these days, there’s usually a rent-a-cop standing at the door waiting to check my receipt on my way out.

I’m not really sure what good they do in the first place, they look at the receipt but never actually look at what’s in the bag!  I understand and don’t mind if they ask to see a receipt for an unbagged item, but a recent expereince at our K-Mart has given me a new disdain for these people on a power trip.

To start, did you know that you are NOT required to show your receipt?  Stores are only legally allowed to require a bag or receipt check if they have obtained your signature stating that you are aware of this policy and that you are agreeing to comply (read the fine print!!).  Stores like BJs that require a membership are likely to do this.

However, if a store does not have your signature, they are not legally allowed to require you to submit to a check unless they have probable cause that you are shoplifting.  Once you have paid for the items, they legally become your property and a store has no more right to search that bag than they do to search your purse.   This means you can refuse the check and keep on walking.  If the store detains you, you then have the right to inform the police in your defense.

Occasionally when I’m in a rush, I’ll refuse the check and keep on my way.  Usually the staffer is so dumbfounded by my denial that I’m out the door before it becomes an issue.  However tonight, the rent-a-cop at K-Mart was on such a power trip that our refusal to have our $2 receipt checked resulted in us being harassed and threatened.  Here is a letter that I’ve fired off to K-Mart’s customer service email address.  I’ve also sent the letter to The Consumerist, a blog dedicated to informing consumers of their rights and fighting to defend them. (How ironic that one of their categories on their homepage is “Sears,” the owner of K-Mart!)

Here is the text of the letter:

February 22, 2008

To Whom It May Concern:

I felt that I should inform you of a recent incident in one of your K-Mart stores.  My fiancé and I often shop in your Glenolden, Pa location and have always been satisfied with our experience.  However on the evening of Thursday, February 21^st at approximately 8:30pm, we were treated exceptionally poorly.

After purchasing our single item, we proceeded directly to the exit.  The security guard stationed at the door asked to see our receipt.  We politely refused, as is our right by law, and continued on our way as we had another engagement.

The guard however did not accept our refusal.  He followed us into the parking lot still insisting on seeing our receipt.  Still polite, we continued to refuse and continued to our car.  The guard followed us all the way to our vehicle and then proceeded to right down our license plate number.  When I inquired as to what his course of action would be, he informed me that I could expect a police officer to either pull me over or to arrive at my residence.  I thanked him and got into my car.  The guard started to walk away and then came back to the car to inform me that it is Sears’ policy to check bags and that if we did not want to comply; then we were no longer welcome in the store.

I am appalled that my rights as a consumer were disregarded in this way and I am completely offended that I was told that I am not welcome in your store.  I am also disturbed that the guard was so arrogant as to repeatedly threaten to call the police when we were acting within our rights.

As I am sure you are aware, once we have purchased our items they are legally our property.  The security guard has as much right to check our store bag as he does my purse.  We gave him no reason to suspect us of any wrongdoing; he could see us leave the register, our single item in a K-Mart bag, and watch us proceed directly to the exit without touching anything on our way.

Unless K-Mart has obtained our signature, which it has not, receipt and bag checks may only be lawfully conducted on a voluntary basis.  This means that we retain the right to refuse the check.

I also have to wonder how many other customers were exiting the store without a bag check while the guard was wasting time following us to our car.  The single item we had purchased that day cost exactly $2, whereas I saw other customers in line with full shopping carts.

I hope that you will look into this matter and better inform your staff of consumers’ rights.  I am disgusted with the treatment we received and will think twice before shopping at any of your establishments again.

Sincerely,

Emily Wray

I’m not looking for anything in return.  I just want to make people aware of their rights and do whatever I can to prevent this from happening to other people.  Those of you who know me personally know that I am the last person you would expect to be reported to the cops!

Our rights are under siege from enough places these days, don’t let the rent-a-cop violate them any more!

I forgot to mention that I’ve started a new blog, Enlitened Life.  Ben and I joined Weight Watchers at the beginning of the year, and this blog tracks our progress.  Ben has lost 20 lbs so far, and I’m up to 14!

I also do postings about great foods that I find or interesting articles I read related to weight loss and eating healthy.  We also post our favorite recipes.  Who knew getting healthy good be so tasty!  We sure didn’t!

So add Enlitened Life to your bookmarks! We post a few times a week and new recipes are always cropping up.