Picking My Brain

For those keeping score, Ben and I have been engaged for three years now. We postponed the wedding to keep my mother happy. She refused to have anything to do with wedding planning until I had graduated college. I was devastated, but I couldn’t imagine planning my wedding without my mother.  So we put off even discussing the topic of marriage with my family until my mother’s terms were met.
Like I said in my last post, I graduated on Dec. 17. So I waited a while for my mom to bring up the wedding, but of course she didn’t. So on Jan. 19th we went to my mom’s for dinner. I didn’t really want to approach the topic because I knew it would end in disaster. So I kept putting it off and putting it off. Ben kept giving me looks trying to get me to bring it up, but I just wasn’t ready to engage in the battle that I knew was coming.

So I self-sabotaged. I waited until we were getting ready to leave, and decided to mumble to my mother, “We’ve picked a date for the wedding, if you even care.” After she had deciphered what I said, she got a major attitude with me. We got into a screaming match, which made me storm out. So I thought that was it, I was on my own for the wedding.

On Tuesday I decided to stage another attempt. I sent an email to my mom suggesting that we forget about what’s happened in the past and focus on the future. She invited us over for dinner again last weekend.

I still didn’t want to approach the topic. I can’t imagine planning my wedding without my mom (despite all of our differences), and I was terrified that she was going to tell me that she still didn’t want anything to do with it. So I was still putting it off a little.

Surprisingly though, my mom actually brought it up at dinner. My parents are all in for the wedding! We actually had a nice conversation that night about what I already had in mind. She gave me some honest opinions and brought up things that I hadn’t though of. So we’re getting ready to launch a fact-finding mission before we make any definite plans. I actually think she’s starting to get excited about planning a wedding. She called me on Monday to say that she had already found a bridal show for us to go to!

We’re having some difficulty in deciding on a final date, however. Ben and I had been planning a February wedding ever since we got married. We wanted February because we both love the winter and snow, and because February is when our anniversary is. However, my mom has kinda thrown a monkey wrench into the whole works. Since she’s a teacher, she has off during the summer. Since I’m living in Pa and she’s in NJ, it would be easier to plan the wedding if she is free to do any running around that needs to be done at the last minute. She has a hard time taking time off during the year, and she especially can’t take time off backed up to a holiday. She recommends a mid to late June wedding. Ben on the other hand is dead set against a summer wedding. He absolutely hates the summer and doesn’t want to hear anything about a summer wedding.  Plus, he doesn’t want to wait any longer.  He actually would have it this coming November if I said okay. So here I am somewhere in the middle between the two again.

I wanted February at first to be as close as possible to our anniversary, Feb. 13. However, I was convinced that since it falls on a Friday in 2009 (people would have to take off of work) and since it’s so close to Valentine’s Day (I refuse to have a single heart, dove or calla lily anywhere in my wedding) to give up that date. So since I gave up that particular date, I’m not really tied to February anymore. Since I had been thinking about a winter wedding, the colors I had picked out were burgundy and gold. They won’t work in the summer, and I didn’t really have any “inspirations” about theme and decor for a summer wedding.

This morning though I was doing some looking around at theknot.com. I do like a sage/olive green and had recently seen some spring green ‘maids dressed that I kind of liked. While poking around, I saw the bouquet to the left (click on the picture for a larger image) that did give me the spark I was looking for. I could do a very nice spring green with pale pink accents and white accents.

I think I’m going to take a diplomatic approach.  I’m going to ask Ben to sit down and make a list his pros and cons of a winter wedding and his pros and cons of a summer wedding.  I’m going to do the same.  Then we’ll compare lists and see what we come up with.

Well, I have some work to get done before I am unemployed tomorrow.  In case I said in my post yesterday that today, Thursday, was my last day, my supervisor emailed me late yesterday to tell me that I was on the payroll until tomorrow.  Basically I’ll have a half day tomorrow, I have an eye dr. appt. in the morning then the whole department is going out to lunch to say goodbye to one of the other girls.  Which is interesting…

The job I had applied for and was passed over for was for a Course Designer position.  Unexpectedly, one of the other Course Designers resigned.  So as of this morning, there is another posting for a Course Designer.  I really don’t know if I should post for it or not.  I feel that I have an advantage now that I have worked as a Course Designer for a month and that I have my degree.  But if I wasn’t hired the first time, would I really be hired this time.  I’m going to see if I can talk to the person doing the hiring and ask her for her opinion on whether or not I should post for the new position.  So I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.