Picking My Brain

Yeah, that Wednesday was not the greatest day ever. In fact, except for the snow, it was a crappy day. I was tired and anxious all day.

Here’s how it went that Friday:

Step One: Snow. COMPLETED. Yep, it snowed again.

Step Two: Ace my interview and get offered a permanent job. FAILED: Well, I thought I had done well in my interview, but not really. Apparently when I was talking about working for the newspaper and said that I enjoyed writing but didn’t like the “just the facts” and no creativity, she thought I wasn’t right for the job. She was also disappointed when I chose the more creative project to work on last week instead of a more factual one. I also couldn’t compete with the level of experience the other girls had. They’ve been with Wawa for over 10 years each, and I’ve only been here 2 1/2, 2 of which was in the store. I’m disappointed,and actually pretty bitter. I feel a little let down, I knew I wasn’t being promised anything, but it seemed like I was being kept so I could just slide into the new position. I knew it was a long shot, but of course I was still hoping. It also kinda got on my nerves that the two who got the jobs, were the two that already had pending job offers in another department. So now they’re going to turn down those jobs and take this one. I’m happy for them because they’re my friends and they deserve the jobs, but I’m still left out in the cold. I’m sending out resumes like mad now trying to find a new job. So far, as of Jan. 31, I will be unemployed.
Step Three: Find out if I’ve been approved for graduation. COMPLETED! I got a grade higher than I needed in the class to graduate. Graduation was on the 16th of last month. Here’s the pix to prove it! Edit: I seem to be having technical difficulties with the uploads. I’ll post them as soon as Ben fixes it. I’m going to my mom’s today to pick up my diploma. They didn’t have them at graduation, so they mailed them out and for some weird reason, it seems mine ended up at my mom’s house.

Really, I think it is. I couldn’t even sleep last night. I’m so wound up over everything, I’m physically shaking and I have a headache. I can’t concentrate on anything.

So here’s my plan for the greatest day ever:

Step One: Snow. Completed!

Step Two: Ace my interview this afternoon.

Step Three: Finally be approved for graduation.

Okay, here’s what I’m talking about. Step One: The weather forecast has been mentioning snow for almost a week now, but of course we haven’t seen any. So suddenly someone looked outside and said it was snowing. It’s been snowing pretty good for about two hours now and it’s starting to stick. Ben said that it’s supposed to snow until midnight tonight. We could get a good coating!

Step Two: My boss has been talking about two open positions in the Training and Development department here at Wawa Corporate for a few weeks now. The job sounds amazing, getting to create and design training and other materials. Plus, it’s a permanant position. I could actually say I have a career! This whole time my boss has been saying that there’s no guarantees, she can’t promise anything. Out of the blue yesterday, she called me to set up an interview today for the job! So at 3:30 this afternoon I’m interviewing. I don’t know how fast I’ll find out anything. There’s two positions open, and I think 4 people are interviewing. Out of the 4 people I probably have the least chance. The others all have at least 6 years of corporate experience and have lots of other Wawa projects on their resumes. But who knows, for the next few weeks I’m actually working for Joyce, who would be my boss if I get the position, so hopefully that’s a plus for me. She’s already seen some of my ideas and how I work.

Step Three: My professor is supposed to post my grades from the class I took this semester by 6pm tonight. According to my calculations, I’m like 2 or 3 points from the grade I need to get a 2.0 GPA to be eligible for graduation. Right now it’s 1.97. I think if my grade estimate is correct, I would end up with a 1.99. So I sent an email to the professor as soon as I was done with my final to see if there was anything I could do to earn those few points. He hasn’t gotten back to me, so I guess I just have to wait until tonight. I’m just hoping that a miracle occurs somewhere along the line and I can get approved.

So that’s my day today. I’m completely nervous and anxious. This could either be the greatest day of my life, or the worst. So far the signs are that it’s the best, it’s snowing and the cafeteria had exactly the lunch I wanted today. Of course, it’s probably all in my head. I’m delusional from no sleep last night. But as soon as I know anything, I’m sure the world will know.

Here’s the link to a hyptertext project I just uploaded to the web.  I’m pretty proud of it, so go check it out if you get a minute!  Let me know what you think!

a. going to be the reason why i never graduate college

b. going to make me miss out on something really great one day

c. going to be the death of me

Answer: I’m really hoping not a or b, but most likely c. I have two final projects due this week that amount to most of my grade for the semester. Granted, I have them put together in my head, but I just don’t have the interest in glueing my butt to the chair and actually finishing them. I keep thinking that I have time, when really, I don’t. My final presentation is due tomorrow in my one class. For that one I actually have the research done, I just have to write it and post my research sources on a blog. (Yeah, I decided to make one specifically for the class, it would be too hard for the prof. to find my actual work among all my other jibberish. Look for the link on the right!) The other is due Wednesday, and I’ve barely started. I have the concept, but now I actually have to flesh it out and turn “pinhole photography” into an interesting presentation.

I just can’t seem to focus on anything lately. Ben and I managed to clean the apartment up great for Thanksgiving, but it’s a complete disaster again. I don’t have enough gumption to get up and do it. I did finally manage to get all of my laundry done yesterday, but the last two loads are still sitting unfolded in the laundry basket on the living room floor, and the rest is piled precariously on a chair in the living room. I still have to switch over from my summer wardrobe to my winter one and return the boxes to the storage unit (they are filling up the bedroom as we speak). I usually fall asleep around 11 in the mornings after I get home from work. I get up around 3/3:30 to get ready for class. I leave at 4 and get home at 9. I promptly fall back asleep until 11 and am back at work by 11:30pm. I can’t even stay awake on my days off. I went to Lauren’s Saturday night and was nodding off there, then went to my parent’s last night for my brother’s birthday and was nodding off there too. I always feel lousy and tired. I can’t find time to accomplish anything.

And speaking of work, here we go again! Two weeks ago we were blindsided with the news that Ruth was leaving our store and we were getting another new manager. This put me in a terrible depression. I had been really excited to get Ruth (our store needed some changes) and I really liked her. But as I’ve alluded to in previous posts, things got really ugly. Nobody was communicating and everyone was letting a bad attitude take over. I was so stressed and depressed because there was no job satisfaction. I was left trying to not only pick up the pieces of my shifts, but the pieces of the other shifts to keep the store going. It was too much for one person, especially with other people purposely letting it fall apart. No matter how much I did, it was never enough to make the store the way I knew it should be. A few long-time employees didn’t even try to make it better, they just tried to make it through and quickly gave up. Honestly, no big loss.

But anyway, things had at least reached a plateau for a while and while they were not getting any better, they weren’t getting any worse either. But knowing that getting a new manager was what started all the chaos in the first place, I was petrified of the new guy. I figured it would start all over again, and this time I wasn’t sure I could handle it. I was literally petrified that first week.

As it turns out, this guy, Jon, may be great for the store. People have returned to their old selves, and I have actually walked into the store for my shift, looked around and been able to say, “everything is done and the store looks good!” PJ probably thought I had lost my mind, but it had been so long since that had happened I almost hugged him when I saw the store. We still have a ways to go, but he’s taking baby steps. He knows how to have fun, but how to be in charge too. He squashes the nay-sayers before they can even start. The only problem is, he’s only here for three months max. Our store is a stop on his way to a promotion to a ’super Wawa.’ At the minimum we’ll have him a few more weeks, he’s being called back into duty by the Army and had to go get his physical this weekend. So I’ll probably know tomorrow when he’s leaving. We need him here for much longer than that. We need him to implement all of his changes, then be there long enough so that those changes become habit and we just do them. If he leaves that soon, I’m really afraid that we’ll go right back into chaos.
I think I’ve realized something good that came out of all the hoopla with Ruth, though. I got pushed around, used and abused those few months. Nobody cared about me or what I needed. The first day I met Jon, I told him exactly what I wanted: off of third shift. I was actually kind of a bitch, spouting off really sarcastic comments and really letting him get the idea that I was not happy. I felt only a little guilt, because I kept telling myself that nobody else is going to stand up for me, so I would have to do it myself. Jon really reached out to me, starting the first day after my first comment. It was important to him to take care of a problem that I had with something right away. He could have waited, let me find out the answer on my own, and offered me no explaintion. But he came over to me within 5 minutes of me saying something and told me the answer and explained why. We’ve got another new CSL in, and PJ who is a great shift runner. Jon and Joe have decided that we’re not taking any more crap from these people, and they actually aren’t!

So I’m left with two problems. There really is only two of us working 3rds right now. Joe will work my days off, but I want off of 3rd completely. The associate that is mostly working with me I don’t think is going to work out. She’s s-l-o-w. She can do the work, she just doesn’t have the hustle you need to work at Wawa. Plus, she’s pregnant, which of course I don’t fault her for, but it seems as if its going to be a difficult pregnancy. It’s already affecting her work. She has shown up for work but then needed to go home at least once a week. At like midnight last night, after collasping in bed dead tired, the phone rang. Ben came and woke me up to tell me that Joe was calling, but he wasn’t picking up. Joe’s message said that she was “vomitting profusely” and he was hoping I could come in and help out. I fell asleep on the way home, and had been asleep for about 20 minutes when he called. I felt really bad for not calling and not picking up, but there was no way I could work over night on an hour and 20 mins of sleep. I know by now Joe is just as frustrated as I am, because he keeps having to pick up her pieces too. But I just couldn’t do it last night.

So obviously the black hole that is Wawa still has me firmly in it’s grasp. I can’t wait until it lets go. Guess I’d better get crackin’ on those finals, hunh?

…so slowly….

Sitting in class again. Everyone is setting up their blogs. Obviously, I already have one and am proficient in using it. So I’m pretty tuned out right now.

Things are looking up with the car. The check from the trash company should be in the mail in a few days. The estimate came in just over $1200, so they’re cutting a check directly to us. Plus, the estimate said that it would take 3 days to fix, so when Ben talked to them after sending the estimate, he asked if they would pay for the rental as well. Apparently, the guy said that he would stick an extra couple hundred dollars in the check to cover the rental…no questions asked! We were really surprised at how nice and willing to give us over $1000, but then I realized that they were probably paying us off. In the long run, it’s probably cheaper for the company to just pay us off rather than deal with insurance companies. So what we’re going to do is, we’re going to attempt the work ourselves. We can get a replacement bumper from the junkyard no problem, as well as the brake light cover. We’ll replace them, and Ben says that he can get the dent out himself. Then we’ll take some of the money and have the car repainted, which apparently only costs $200-$300 dollars. Plus, I’m going to take some of the money and finally get the car into the shop and get the engine issues fixed.

As for school, I don’t know. Classes are going well. I’m still worried about the money issue. I haven’t paid at all yet, and my first payment was due Sept. 20. I did a FAFSA, but haven’t heard anything from Stockton about receiving financial aid. I do still have to actually go down to the offices and see if I can get my address changed back to Lakehurst and then see if I can be charged in-state tuition. Wawa will hopefully reimburse me, which will cover next semester, but that won’t be issued, if approved, until I successfully complete the classes.

I took the rest of my vacation time last week. We didn’t really do anything exciting. A day trip to Media, PA (which has a great unique shopping area, by the way) and another to New Hope, PA, which we actually found disappointing.

I did attend Teal’s bridal shower. Talk about killing me softly. It was so boring! We got there on time at 1, waiting around for appetizers, then waited for about another hour until lunch. It was co-ed, so there wasn’t anything girlie. Plus, Teal had decided that since she’s “older” she didn’t want to play any of the games you would usually play at these things. So after lunch, we waited around some more. Then Teal and Derick opened gifts. That wasn’t even exciting because it was mostly things off of her registries. She’s been checking her registries to see what’s been bought (yes, I actually heard her admit to this). So she knew what she was getting, and everything she opened was “oh, here’s our xxx. Thank you.” It just seemed fake to me.

Plus, my mother was at it again. We went over to say good-bye to my Uncle and other cousin Dylan. I was standing right next to my mom who looked at Dylan and said, “well, I wish I could say that you’re next to be married.” Dylan looked at her like she had three heads and laughed. He said that he wasn’t even dating anyone, though one of his summer roommates who he disliked said that she wanted to marry him. Then later, my grandmother said something about my wedding, and my mom made a audible scoff. I’m millingover in my head whether or not to send her an email, or maybe confront her in person, and tell her this is not what I agreed to. I agreed to wait to plan the wedding until after I graduated. I did not agree to my whole engagement and wedding being completely ignored and prentended like it isn’t happening. I wrote an email that next Monday (the shower was on Sunday) that exactly captured how angry I was and how I felt about it. But I ended up kinda breaking down at the computer, so Ben got me and talked to me about it. Since I was away from the computer for so long, the email logged me out and my email was lost. I’ve since calmed down, so I just might wait until the next incident. Because I know there will be one, and I’ll be just as angry then as I was that day.

Oh well, I guess that’s all for now. My professor just said that I don’t have to post assignments on my blog, so I may not bore you with posts that mean completely nothing to you. But wait, do any of my posts mean anything to you? Guess they’re more meaningful to me. Whatever.

Oh joy. I’m currently sitting in my Intro to New Media Studies class. The professor has finally set the syllabus for the semester. Guess what we’re learning how to do for about half of the semester….blogs! Gee, so glad I decided to take this class! I have no idea how to blog…..

So I guess I’ll have to start making use of my categories. I’ll just add to this blog and make changes as I need to to fit assignments. I don’t mean to bore everyone with my assignment postings, but I can’t see creating a whole new blog when I have a perfectly good (and one I rather like) right here. Besides, it’s not like anybody really reads my blog anyways, right?

My cousin Teal’s bridal shower is this weekend. It should be fun (said with much sarcasm, I assure you). Apparently she has mandated that she didn’t want to do any of the silly games and stuff that are usually done at these things. It seems that a lot of people have been invited, and it’s not a girls only thing either. It should be an experience, that’s for sure.

Hmm, there was something else I wanted to quickly mention, but during the course of my professor’s rather dry lecture I forgot. I’ll post it when (and if) I remember.