Picking My Brain

Ben loves to quote the line from that Baz Luhrmann song “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”:

“Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.”

I never quite subscribed to this philosophy.  I realize that not only are the models wearing gobs of makeup, their pictures are then edited by photo-editing software.  I think I’m grounded enough in the real world that all the propaganda they spew falls on deaf ears.  I know there are those who aren’t as grounded and and who strive to look like the models, and for them that line may hold some truth.

I was pretty flabbergasted a few weekends ago though when I went to a bridal show with my friend Jenn.  As we walked around, some of the vendors there horrified me.  I’ve been to a few shows, so I know to expect the usual hair and makeup salons hoping you’ll book them for your day.  At first a I was a little surprised to see a both advertising tooth-whitening service, but wasn’t really bothered by it - especially since I’ve considered talking to my dentist about seeing how much it would cost to have my teeth whitened before my wedding.  But as we walked around further, I realized that there were actually plastic surgeons there!

I was absolutely horrified that women’s self-esteems are so low, they would resort to plastic surgery specifically for their wedding day!  I think plastic surgery for non-medical conditions is vain as it is, and I know the wedding industry has gone completely insane over the past few years.  But this just blew me out of the water!

After I got home, I went through the goody bag that most venues give you to collect brochures and such.  I found this huge magazine in there, “New Beauty.”  This monstrosity is 192 pages of full page glossy ads for ridiculously  expensive beauty products, and cosmetic surgeons.  There are a few “articles” thrown in, but mostly they’re touting specific brands of products for every imaginary flaw you could possibly dream up.

Page 193 then begins the “beauty docs” section.  That’s 132 pages of plastic surgeon ads, most are huge two-full pages!

Then there’s the “glossary, ” 11 pages where you can look up a specific type of surgery and find out what it is, what it does, the average cost, the length of the procedure, whether anesthesia is needed or not, recovery time, number of visits required, the risks and how long the results last.

And last but not least, you come across the index.  There you can look up any type of beauty condition or procedure and see what pages you can find “information” on it.

Thank God I got this crap for free!  It was filled with those stupid postcards with “Subscribe Now!” emblazoned across them.  And I did happen to see this same magazine on the magazine shelf of some store, so that means people somewhere actually pay for this.

Women always complain that we’ve been objectified and that we need “real” women in these magazines.  But after seeing this drivel, I can’t help but think that we’ve partly brought it on ourselves.  If people didn’t buy this stuff, people wouldn’t make it.  I’m still stunned, and I can’t wait to throw this waste of paper away!  This is definately one beauty magazine that will make you feel ugly!

I have for a while known of a little anti-religion known as Pastafarianism or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Lately though it seems that I have become much more involved with FSM-ism that I ever anticipated. See, I told Ben I was “touched” more than he was! (Visit the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to get my pun.)

I first explained to Liesle the meaning of the noodly emblem on the back of my car. Think “Jesus Fish,” but with more spaghetti and 2 meatballs. (Bought mostly as a joke for Ben on Valentine’s Day.)

Today Ben sent me this link about a town in Tennessee currently sporting a statue of the Spaghedeity on it’s courthouse’s front lawn.

After seeing the usual “I don’t understand your religon, but I’m going to be condescending and insulting towards it anyway” comment, I found myself again defending and explaining Pastafarianism. Ben joked that I have become a prophet. I could only hope the Noodly One feels the same!

In all honesty, this topic is very appropriate for the date, April Fool’s Day. Even though I do not treat Pastafarianism as my actual religion that I worship; I think the joke embodies a rational, moral way of treating people around you. To me the Noodly One stands for open-mindedness and acceptance. With a sense of humor.

FSM was founded in 2005 when Bobby Henderson wrote an open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education protesting their decision to include creationism as part of their curriculum. His letter was ignored by the Board until he posted the letter online and quickly gained notoriety. Basically his point was that “because intelligent design implies the existence of an intelligent, but not necessarily omnipotent or omniscient designer, this designer could, in fact, be anything imaginable,” including a flying monster made of spaghetti and meatballs. (Quoted from Wikipedia’s FSM entry.)

Now FSM has become an modern-day Russell’s teapot (an analogy first coined by the philosopher Bertrand Russell intended to refute the idea that the burden of proof lies upon the skeptic to disprove unfalsifiable claims of religions) or Invisible Pink Unicorn (the goddess of a satiric parody religion aimed at theistic beliefs, which takes the form of a unicorn that is paradoxically both invisible and pink. These attributes satirize the contradictions in properties that some attribute to a theistic deity; this makes her a common rhetorical illustration used by atheists and other religious skeptics).

As many of you know, I’m not a particularly religious person. I was raised mostly Methodist and went to church and Sunday school until I was probably about 10. So I have a religious foundation. As I got older and into today, I question religion and have combined into it my own experiences and science. I don’t see myself adopting Pastafarianism as a “real religion.” But explaining it and spreading my interpretation of its message makes me feel good. On second thought, wouldn’t a prophet of Christianity say the same?

RAmen.

P.S. If you wish to learn even more about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, like the Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts;” Captain Mosey, a pirate and the FSM equivalent of Moses; and much, much more detailed explanations of Pastafarians beliefs, I strongly recommend The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, written by noodly one Bobby Henderson himself. I am currently reading it and becoming enlightened! Won’t you join me?

Yeah, I’ll admit it.  I occasionally shop at K-Mart.  It’s literally three blocks from my apartment and they offer cheap prices on things like cat litter, cleaning supplies and bird food.  As most stores do these days, there’s usually a rent-a-cop standing at the door waiting to check my receipt on my way out.

I’m not really sure what good they do in the first place, they look at the receipt but never actually look at what’s in the bag!  I understand and don’t mind if they ask to see a receipt for an unbagged item, but a recent expereince at our K-Mart has given me a new disdain for these people on a power trip.

To start, did you know that you are NOT required to show your receipt?  Stores are only legally allowed to require a bag or receipt check if they have obtained your signature stating that you are aware of this policy and that you are agreeing to comply (read the fine print!!).  Stores like BJs that require a membership are likely to do this.

However, if a store does not have your signature, they are not legally allowed to require you to submit to a check unless they have probable cause that you are shoplifting.  Once you have paid for the items, they legally become your property and a store has no more right to search that bag than they do to search your purse.   This means you can refuse the check and keep on walking.  If the store detains you, you then have the right to inform the police in your defense.

Occasionally when I’m in a rush, I’ll refuse the check and keep on my way.  Usually the staffer is so dumbfounded by my denial that I’m out the door before it becomes an issue.  However tonight, the rent-a-cop at K-Mart was on such a power trip that our refusal to have our $2 receipt checked resulted in us being harassed and threatened.  Here is a letter that I’ve fired off to K-Mart’s customer service email address.  I’ve also sent the letter to The Consumerist, a blog dedicated to informing consumers of their rights and fighting to defend them. (How ironic that one of their categories on their homepage is “Sears,” the owner of K-Mart!)

Here is the text of the letter:

February 22, 2008

To Whom It May Concern:

I felt that I should inform you of a recent incident in one of your K-Mart stores.  My fiancé and I often shop in your Glenolden, Pa location and have always been satisfied with our experience.  However on the evening of Thursday, February 21^st at approximately 8:30pm, we were treated exceptionally poorly.

After purchasing our single item, we proceeded directly to the exit.  The security guard stationed at the door asked to see our receipt.  We politely refused, as is our right by law, and continued on our way as we had another engagement.

The guard however did not accept our refusal.  He followed us into the parking lot still insisting on seeing our receipt.  Still polite, we continued to refuse and continued to our car.  The guard followed us all the way to our vehicle and then proceeded to right down our license plate number.  When I inquired as to what his course of action would be, he informed me that I could expect a police officer to either pull me over or to arrive at my residence.  I thanked him and got into my car.  The guard started to walk away and then came back to the car to inform me that it is Sears’ policy to check bags and that if we did not want to comply; then we were no longer welcome in the store.

I am appalled that my rights as a consumer were disregarded in this way and I am completely offended that I was told that I am not welcome in your store.  I am also disturbed that the guard was so arrogant as to repeatedly threaten to call the police when we were acting within our rights.

As I am sure you are aware, once we have purchased our items they are legally our property.  The security guard has as much right to check our store bag as he does my purse.  We gave him no reason to suspect us of any wrongdoing; he could see us leave the register, our single item in a K-Mart bag, and watch us proceed directly to the exit without touching anything on our way.

Unless K-Mart has obtained our signature, which it has not, receipt and bag checks may only be lawfully conducted on a voluntary basis.  This means that we retain the right to refuse the check.

I also have to wonder how many other customers were exiting the store without a bag check while the guard was wasting time following us to our car.  The single item we had purchased that day cost exactly $2, whereas I saw other customers in line with full shopping carts.

I hope that you will look into this matter and better inform your staff of consumers’ rights.  I am disgusted with the treatment we received and will think twice before shopping at any of your establishments again.

Sincerely,

Emily Wray

I’m not looking for anything in return.  I just want to make people aware of their rights and do whatever I can to prevent this from happening to other people.  Those of you who know me personally know that I am the last person you would expect to be reported to the cops!

Our rights are under siege from enough places these days, don’t let the rent-a-cop violate them any more!

While goofing around the intertubes this morning (instead of getting ready for work, of course) I happened across an very disturbing news article.

Bebo is a social networking site, similar to MySpace. Apparently there’s a new craze sweeping it’s members, and it’s deadly serious.

Police in Great Britain suspect that 7 teen suicides in South Wales are part of a suicide craze of Bebo members. According to the article, the teens are committing suicide in order to gain “prestige” among their friends. After the teen’s deaths, their friends are setting up memorial websites where comments, videos and photographs in tribute. Police suspect that the teens are seeing these memorial sites as a way of gaining prestige.

Never could I ever believe that a popularity contest could be so…well, deadly. I would imagine the prestige comes from the age-old “who has the most.” Who has the most comments, the most videos, the most people who miss them.

What I don’t get is, the teens don’t get to see the results of their “prestige.” What good is prestige if you’re not there to enjoy it?  I’m young enough to recall vividly what’s its like to be a teenager.  Everything matters.  So much.  You’re miserable.  Everything is about you.  Nobody loves you. Nobody understands you.  Nobody would miss you if you disappeared.  The whole world is heavy.  Dying seems like a really good option a lot of days, because it’s never going to get any better than this.  This is it.
But somehow you find your way through it and suddenly one day, you’re a rational human being again.  You’ve learned some things along the way, and now you’re off.  It may not always be the best, but you’re alive, and that’s what counts.

Yes, there are the ones with genuine psychological issues that go untreated far too many times.  But for normal healthy kids to be killing themselves for their lives to matter is absurd.

I am not one to often play the “blame game,” but in this instance, I wonder exactly how much influence does the media have?  How long after Anna Nicole died was she still being plastered everywhere.  Any news markets anywhere today is carrying the Heath Ledger story.  I can’t even check my Hotmail today with out seeing it.  What kind of message does that send?  More popular in death than in life?

I don’t really know how to end this post.  All I can do is suggest that you go out and be a positive roll model for someone close to you.  Understand that being a teenager sucks.  And sucks hard.  But the human race wouldn’t be here today if people never made it past their teen years.  You honestly don’t know what’s in store for your life.  Give it a chance.

Giving up means that you never get to show those stupid kids in school what you’re really made of.  I hated high school, but now that I have my college degree and a professional job, in a way I feel like I’ve proven them wrong.  I succeed anyway.

And that kind of prestige I get to enjoy.

Diamonds, of course! While we were in DC, the Natural History Museum had a gemstones exhibit. There I found the following gems: Click on the pictures to see a larger image.

The Hope Diamond. Sorry it’s blurry, but as you can imagine there were tons of people gathered around trying to see it and get a good picture.

The Tiffany Diamond:

Can you read the carats in this stone?!

(It’s 22,892 in case you can’t!) 

Just goofing off this morning and thought I would post what I was up to.

In case you forget, this is what I look like (not the best picture of me, I know):

Now this is what that same picture would look like if I were a South Park character!

Again, what I look like:

And what I might look like as an M-M:

How about Ben? Here’s what he looks like:

And here’s how he’d look on South Park:

Speaking of Ben, here’s how he thought I would look on South Park:

To get your own alter-egos, go to:

www.becomeanmm.com

or

www.sp-studio.de/

I just saw one of the more bizzare things I’ve seen in a while.  I was catching up on the back episodes of The Colbert Report and I saw the one from Nov. 2 where Stephen interviewed Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller fame.  As far as I can tell, here is the transcript of the segement that I found amusing.  They were discussing Penn giving away the secrets of how some of the most popular magic tricks are done.

SC: “Why would you do that?  Why would you want to break the hearts of little children who want to beleive that there is magic in the world?!”

PJ:  “Which camera is on?”  Looks around until he finds the camera, then looks straight into it.  “There is no Santa Claus!  The Tooth Fairy is your mother and your father!  There is no Easter Bunny and no God!  Sorry!”

So I’m assuming it was Comedy Central  who decided to bleep out all of the words that I italicized.  I think this is kind of weird.  If some child is still up watching television at 11:30pm, then chances are they don’t have much innocence left and already know this.  I guess I never realized how sensitive an issue it was.

But here’s the bizzare part.  You may have noticed that I did not italicize God.  That’s not a mistake…it wasn’t bleeped!  So it could be offensive to say that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny don’t really exist, but it’s not offensive to say that God doesn’t exist?  I don’t get it.

I tried to find a clip, but YouTube doesn’t have it, and I couldn’t find it in a Google search.  It’s nothing earth-shattering, just something that made me sit up and go “HUNH?!”

So that’s all for now, I’m working on finding some clips for another post I want to do.  Some of the political ads that I’ve seen recently have got me all riled up.  But for now, I have to get some sleep.  It’s quarter to 2 and I need to get some sleep.  We’re going over to Meg’s tonight to celebrate Sue’s (Ben and Meg’s mother) birthday.  I’m up so late as it is because I still had to decorate the cake.  I did some experienting with some new techniques.  It would have been pretty I think if I had thought it out a little more first.  I used fondant for the first time, and ended up with a seam down the  middle of the cake that I couldn’t blend.  The corners are kinda bad too.  But practice makes perfect, so hopefully the next one I make will be better.  I’ll post a picture or two of it tomorrow so you can be witness to my latest disaster.

Good night!

Here’s some pictures that i’ve taken lately with my camera phone. Just thought they’d make a fun post!

Street Rd., a little redundant, don’t ya think?

Copper pretending to be a princess?

Knitters possesed, but oh so comfy!

Meet our newest Wawa employee, Joe Boxer.

Even our soap suds are artistic!

Just my results of some fun tests I ran across on a friend’s blog. Check them out for yourself and let me know your results!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Your bikini…your just right not to sluty not to
boring the world needs more people like you

Whats your Underwear Type?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com